Out of Control Read online

  I tightened my fingers around the phone. “You can’t control everything, Blake. Actions and consequences, remember?”

  He let out a bark of humorless laughter. “Control everything? When have I ever been able to control a single thing about you? Stop being so contrary,” he said gruffly. “Do you need me to tell you how much I want you to stay? Is that it?”

  I brought my phone around to my face and stared at the name on the screen. Blake Hanlon. Yep, he had just admitted he wanted me to stay.

  “I’m not going to work for you. You get that, right?” I put in.

  “I don’t want you to,” he said flatly. “And for the record, Mia and Declan have nothing to do with us. I’m dating you because I like you, not because I owe him.”

  I released the breath I hadn’t known I’d been holding. I really wanted to believe him. I closed my eyes, my heart and my head torn. I wasn’t sure if I fully trusted Blake’s feelings for me, but I did trust my gut. And it was telling me that, if I walked away now, I’d regret it.

  “Okay. Take me on a date, then. A proper date,” I added, not really knowing what I meant by that. I was the one who kept turning our rendezvous into risqué sexcapades. It would be up to me to keep my hands off Blake. Hot, sexy Blake. I licked my lips.

  “I’ll be there in an hour,” he cut through my hungry thoughts. “Smart casual. And for God’s sake, wear panties.”

  He hung up, and I put down my phone, my fingers numb. I’d half-expected him to cool off, now that Mia had gone. I certainly hadn’t expected him to give in to my demand so quickly. He always acted so cool and calm, like nothing touched him, but I was sure I’d caught more than a hint of excitement in his voice. I kept that thought in the forefront of my mind.

  First thing I did was put away the whiteboard where I’d been jotting down some new app ideas. Thinking of Blake, there were some activities I’d written down that were best left to the dark cover of night.

  I got dressed, picking my outfit carefully. My little black dress. A thin, short-waisted jacket that fit snugly around my upper arms and chest. Panties. I turned back and forth in the mirror, checking that my panty line showed.

  A knock sounded at the door, and my heart fluttered.

  Blake was there. In a suit and tie, holding a bunch of red roses. Damn. Had he always looked this good? And the smell. All freshly-showered male and the rich aroma of roses. I let his scent linger on my tongue.

  He flashed his dimples and I melted a little more. “Aren’t you going to invite me in?” he asked, taking a leisurely perusal down my person. He sucked in a breath of appreciation.

  “No, I’m not letting you in. Stay,” I ordered, and took the roses and quickly tossed them in the sink with a splash of water. No way could I let Blake into the apartment. My nostrils flared. I wanted to fuck him so badly. I strode back to him and smoothed down my dress. That wasn’t what tonight was about. Tonight, I needed to leave my legs firmly closed and my brain fully engaged.

  Chapter Eleven

  BLAKE

  I hadn’t expected Lila to challenge me to date her, but then again, I should have realized she’d do the opposite of what I imagined.

  So I’d done my best to outshine all her expectations, turning up at her door in a suit. With flowers. Of course, Lila had blown my breath away with how amazing she looked. Black dress with a scooped neckline that clung to all her curves. I hid a smile when I saw the faint line around her hips, evidence she was wearing panties. I glanced up, catching her gaze in mine, and lost my breath again.

  She was so beautiful. Her hair fell in a shiny curtain to her chin, framing gray eyes that drilled right through to my soul. She had a smudge of lipstick that lent a little color to her lips but did nothing to detract from her natural beauty. She could have turned up in flannel pajamas and I would’ve thought she looked spectacular.

  I offered her my arm, wondering why my mouth was dry, my heart thudding. I realized I wanted something from Lila tonight. She openly shared every emotion she felt, hiding nothing. I wanted to please her, to see that devilish smile twist at her lips because of something I had done. Or because of who I was. It was not something I had thought about before, and it left me feeling strangely vulnerable.

  I pushed aside my concerns. I’d never had to prove myself to anyone. Not to Declan. His mother. My own. I wasn’t about to start now.

  I offered my arm and Lila walked downstairs with me. I enjoyed her gasp of surprise when she saw the limousine parked at the curb. The driver opened the door for us, helped her inside. I followed, appreciating the flash of thigh as she climbed in. I wanted those long legs wrapped around me, my cock buried deep, the warm fist of her pussy holding me in its grip. I bit back a groan and took a seat beside her, the heat of her body seeping into every part of me that touched her. Elbows. Hips. Knees. A flash of lust sparked and sizzled down my spine.

  “Would you like a drink?” I pointed to the bottle of champagne on ice.

  She raised a brow. “Is that your plan? To ply me with alcohol and have your wicked way with me in the back of the limo?”

  “God, I hope so.”

  “Then, who am I to spoil a well-thought-out plan?”

  She held out her hand for a glass, holding it steady while I poured, bubbles frothing up the flute. She waited until I’d filled my own glass, then touched the rim with hers and took a sip.

  “So, where are you whisking me away to?” she asked, setting her drink aside.

  I tipped back my wine and took a drink. I smiled, drawing out the suspense. She rolled her eyes and I widened my mouth into a grin.

  “One of my favorite places,” I finally answered. We were close enough to the restaurant that she’d find out soon enough.

  Moments later the limo stopped, and she leaned forward to look out the window. She turned back, brows drawn together in question. “Where are we?”

  She was right to ask. There was nothing to see from the street. The driver opened the door and we got out, standing in the gloomy, badly lit street. I took her around the side of the building to a glossy red door set in the brickwork. I opened it for her, indicating she should go first. A set of stairs went straight up, curved, went up again, and again, until we hit another door at the top, shining like a red beacon.

  She glanced back at me over her shoulder. “Is this place safe?” Her eyes sparkled, and she clapped her hands. “Ooh, this isn’t one of those funky clubs, is it? Are you going to lead me around on a studded leash?”

  I chuckled. Shook my head. “Get on up there. You’ll see.”

  “Yes, Master.” She practically bounded up the stairs and opened the door; stopped. “Oh my God. This place is amazing.”

  She stepped out onto the rooftop restaurant. Strings of fairy lights made up a twinkling ceiling along with the night sky. Thick, rustic posts held up the sparkling canopy sheltering a smattering of tables, covered in white cloth and lit with candles, set strictly for two. More ropes of lights wrapped around the bar and the area to the side where the chefs were cooking. The place was busy, and most of the tables were filled.

  “Mr. Hanlon, we have your table ready.” The maître d’ stepped out from behind the nearest post, leading us to one of the tables.

  I pulled out Lila’s chair.

  “This is for you.” I nodded at a neat package sitting in front of her, tied up with a red bow.

  She dove right in, ripping through the paper, no pretended finesse or coyness. I liked that about her. A deep-red cashmere scarf fell out of the wrapping.

  “It can get a little chilly here,” I explained when she tilted her head at me.

  “You’ve thought of everything.” She sank her fingers into the soft fabric, caressing the threads between her fingers, and I wished it were me.

  I sat opposite her, enjoying every moment of her wrapping the scarf around her shoulders. Even the simplest things seemed fascinating when it was Lila doing them. Red had been a good choice, a startling contrast against the black of her dress,
the creamy tone of her shoulders, and her dark hair.

  We ordered food, but I barely noticed what I ate. Steak. Salad. The usual fare. The meal was good, but it wasn’t the main draw of the place. And I was more interested in learning more about Lila. What made her tick. I wanted to get inside her head, if only so I could figure out how to stop her fucking with mine. I thought about her far more often than I should. I tried to kid myself that it was because she was so irresponsible, and I had an innate need to rescue those around me. But I knew with Lila there was more to the equation. I just wasn’t sure what it was.

  I picked up my wineglass. Took a sip. “Did you take tech at school?” I asked, interested in how she’d fallen into creating an app. Apart from the software she’d developed, she was unknown in the silicon world.

  “No, I stumbled into it by accident. I’ve always been a gaming geek, part of the nerd herd.” She gave a soft, deprecating laugh. “My friends and I took programming in high school and I hated it. Learning code was a total bore. So in college I majored in business, specializing in human resources.” She tapped her finger on the table. Glanced away. “Not my thing, either.”

  “Why not?” I leaned forward, genuinely interested. This was a side of her I hadn’t seen before, and I wanted to know more.

  Her shoulder lifted and dropped. “It all seemed like games to me—politics, nepotism, strategizing. I figured if working was just another game, I may as well design something that could at least entertain the masses.” She leaned forward until her face was hidden behind her hair. “Relearning code gave me something to do. I had a lot of spare time on my hands.”

  “Austin?” I asked quietly. I didn’t need to see her expression to recognize her pain.

  “Among other things.” She spread her fingers on the tablecloth. “I never expected the app to take off like it did. Seems there are more people out there like me than I realized.”

  I laughed. “God forbid.”

  “Ha ha. What about you? What excited you when you were growing up?” She looked up through her bangs, disarming me with her earnest gray gaze. She brushed her fingertips against the side of my hand and crept up my neck.

  I cleared my throat. “Getting through college. Being my own boss. I sought out the best people and started my firm. I haven’t left anything to chance.”

  “What did you do for fun?”

  I frowned, her question taking me by surprise, mostly because I didn’t have an answer for it. I’d studied hard, worked my way through college, half my attention always on the end prize. The other half had been all about getting through each day unscathed. During the worst of my mother’s fight with addiction, I’d never known what I might come home to. What I would have to hide. Mostly, I’d just hoped she’d drink fast and go to sleep early.

  My chest tightened, and I shifted in my chair. “I didn’t have the easiest start in life. Fun isn’t really something I set out to do on purpose.” Not until now, anyway.

  I looked afresh at the beautiful woman sitting opposite me, realizing that part of what attracted me to her was that she had brought back a playful quality in me that had been missing for a long, long time. Possibly my whole life. With her, I had…fun.

  She crept her little finger out and wrapped it around mine, the barest of touches. I covered her hand, caressing the fine bones in the back of her hand with my thumb. Heat built between us, suffusing my limbs, crawling through my belly to settle in my crotch.

  “So, what parts of the city would you like to see? I’ve rented the limo for the night, so we can go wherever we want. Do whatever we want.” I grinned, knowing exactly what I wanted to do. Back seat. Limo. Clothes optional.

  She tapped her lip. I loved the way she did that. It reminded me of how soft her mouth felt under mine, plump and luscious, like a rich chocolate dessert you couldn’t stop eating.

  “I’d like to see the parts of the city that are special to you,” she said finally. She smiled, her gaze holding me in its grip. “I want to know more about you.”

  The steak I hadn’t noticed on the way down made itself known to me as acid built in my stomach. She moved to get up and I followed, knowing she was probably going to be disappointed.

  Would seeing the true Blake Hanlon change her opinion of me?

  Chapter Twelve

  LILA

  Blake took me to Fendalton Heights. It was an upmarket subdivision with tree-lined streets and big impressive homes. Stately.

  “You grew up here?” I asked, glancing over my shoulder.

  “No, but I spent a lot of time here before eventually moving in when I was fifteen.” He played with the straps of my dress, seeming preoccupied.

  Curiosity got the better of me. “Do you still have family?” I asked.

  “No. My mother battled with alcohol while I was growing up. Being a single parent didn’t help.” He placed his hand on my back, stroking the little dents along my spine, causing me to shiver. But it didn’t distract me from his words. “When I made my money, I moved her into a nice house, but the damage was already done. She died five years ago.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “Don’t be. There was nothing anyone could do.” He dipped his head. “And I won’t let that happen to anyone I care for again.”

  I frowned, wondering if he was talking about me, or someone else. Mia? Surely he didn’t think either of us were like his mom? Although I could understand why he kept such tight control over his life. Not that I was going to let him do that to me. Or Mia.

  I pushed him back against the seat and leaned into him, laying my head on his chest. I felt raw and vulnerable, even though it was Blake who had exposed a very real piece of his life to me. I wish I had known him back then, wondered if I would have seen more than bare glimpses of the man he could be. Wild. Exciting. Letting go of his ironclad control. It made me want to crack him open and find the real Blake, the vulnerable man who had watched his mother slip through his fingers.

  He wrapped his arms around me, pulling me back and holding me close. I could feel the thud of his heart, his breath warm on my neck. I understood now, his constant need to hold tight to the things around him, how out of control his childhood must have been. It scared me. I could feel the tension in his hands, the tightness in his jaw as he rested his chin on my head.

  Every instinct told me to run.

  I tilted my head back and glimpsed his face. He was watching me, his eyes wary, as if he knew how close I was to pulling away.

  I should run away, but I couldn’t seem to move. The numbing fear faded and his heat pressed into my skin, warming me from the outside in. His arms, which moments ago had seemed like a prison, now triggered the familiar tingle of excitement that always accompanied his touch. I twisted around to reach the top of his throat with my lips, following the line of his shirt. I felt the purr of satisfaction that rumbled through his body; it unfurled the ball of tightness that lay inside my chest. I nibbled at his jaw, then over his chin, claiming his lips. They were soft beneath mine. I cupped his face, running my tongue along his bottom lip before dipping inside his mouth.

  I shifted to my knees, climbing onto his lap until I straddled him. I came up against his groin, the hard jut of his cock digging into me. A shiver of heat tugged at my nipples, streaking through my veins to my clit.

  “I want you,” I whispered against his lips. “Come back to my apartment. There’s no one to interrupt us.”

  “I like the sound of that,” he murmured, grabbing hold of my chin so I couldn’t escape. I wriggled against him and felt his dimples deepen beneath my fingers. “I think there are a few surfaces we missed. Kitchen. Living room.” His voice deepened. “Bedroom.”

  A flare of excitement caught in my belly, stoking the flames. “We can play naked roulette. I’ll close my eyes and you spin me. Wherever I end up, that’s where we’ll do it.”

  “I get to choose the ‘it’ then.” He laughed and toyed with the strap of my dress some more. The brush of his fingers sent a flurry of
goosebumps down my arms. He drew a line that went from my shoulder down across the top of my nipple, making me twitch as if a flame had scorched my skin. My breasts grew tight and heavy, aching for attention. I flicked my gaze to his full, soft lips. I wanted them around my nipples, the graze of his teeth, a gentle nip.

  I shuddered out a breath, my insides burning. “Sounds fair, but we’re only allowed to kiss until we get home. No touching below the shoulders,” I said breathlessly. Otherwise, I wouldn’t make it. My panties were already wet with wanting him, urging me to wrap my hand around his cock, guide him inside of me, ride him hard—

  “Are those the rules?” His voice deepened, and he trailed his fingers back up to my shoulder, making sure he caressed my nipple on his trek upward.

  I grabbed his hand. “No cheating. If you break the rules, you don’t get to play,” I warned, even though I really wanted him to break them all. To rip my dress apart at the seams, palm my breasts, pinch my nipples. I held back a groan, fighting the need to jam my crotch against his cock.

  “Then, let’s see if I can make you break them,” he rumbled. “I have a much better punishment in mind for you.”

  Game on. I put everything into my next kiss, grabbing his face and mashing my lips against his. Our teeth clashed, and I fell forward, brushing his hips with mine. He jerked out of the way, but I could feel his hips circling, a whisper away from touching mine. Every time I moved forward, he retreated. I wanted him closer. I tangled my fingers in his hair to stop myself from reaching for his ass and dragging him against me.

  He pulled back, his breath hot and heavy, mingling with mine. His gaze smoldered, promising every dark pleasure I hungered for.

  “Do you want to get out, or would you rather stay in here?” he asked.

  “What?” It took me a moment to notice the limo had stopped. I glanced outside.

  “We’re at your apartment, and all bets are off,” he said. Then he was on me, his lips pressing against mine. He reached under my skirt to grip my thigh.